#Day 873: Withdrawal Symptoms

Steel yourself to listen because I believe this must be said, this must be heard for I truly believe my ribs will be bruised by how furiously the shrivelled organ inside is beating and the blood is coursing through my veins and I can taste an acid at the back of my throat I don’t want to recognize because if I give my feelings a name and they’re worded and voiced, I will not know what to make of my senses as they blur.
Because I calculate before I do and trace my steps back twice and I have stayed off the drugs and not given in to any kind of addiction, and my lips know not of need and I know for a fact that gravity exists and gravity will remain no matter what I do but oh, now I’m naming my emotions and I do not know of gravity anymore.
And its like a horrid revelation at midnight when I wake up distraught and forlorn and can’t fall back in to the mellow rhythm of slumber and I know for once and I know for all that I have to, that I need to put my words through to someone who can explain why my fingers twitch and I can feel your aristocratic drawl stir in me a fire that burns in my eyes, in my heart, in the webbing of my toes.
Now even my hair stands on end at the knowledge of your presence and I know it’s you because I know you by your walk and I know that no one should be allowed to have a heart that threatens to take flight the way mine does only because your footsteps near where I stand rooted and I dare not turn around because if I do, I’ll have to tell you, I’ll have to tell you what I feel, I’ll have to say the very words that have been playing in my mind like a broken record and I worry and I stutter and I crave to know what your mind is as of now flipping through and I know I must turn around.
And I do, I turn to look at you and you’re but a few feet away and I step closer and now we’re only merely inches apart and this should not be viewed, we should not be watched because what I want to do right now is not for the eyes of children, not for the eyes of anyone but us and I throw myself into your welcoming albeit unsuspecting arms because a show of affection is not how I usually progress but to Hell with it because well, I knew it was all a conundrum the day you bit your lip and fiddled with your sleeve, it all went to Hell when you tucked me into your arm and I walked right next to you, and it’s all going to Hell again because I’m about to tell you that, well, I do.

I love you.


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